See, this is why I can’t stay mad at you, 90s. Between her performances and her interviews, Claire Danes was one of a handful of women to position cerebral, articulate, self-conscious women as objects of admiration and desire. Claire Danes’ characters attracted frustrated, brooding, handsome dudes—which is exactly the type of guy that, in my experience, real-life Angela Chases tend to dig. I want to live in a world in which thoughtfulness and integrity are the most alluring personal qualities in a woman, and so does nearly every other female writer with a blog. That’s why so many smart girls love Angela Chase.
She plays her roles with directness and sobriety, and even when she states her convictions in a matter-of-fact way, she leaves no reason to doubt her. What would it feel like if Claire Danes lied to you? Can you imagine it?
THREE AUGHTS POP-CULTURE OUTLETS REIMAGINED WITH CLAIRE DANES
1) Claire Danes in Juno
Claire Danes goes to a party and considers doing a DIY abortion with pills and booze, but backs out. Her friends drive her to a clinic where she gets the abortion, and Paulie Bleeker is so upset that they break up. When Jason Bateman hits on her, she asks him why he can’t find a mistress his own age. Tears in his eyes, he furiously throws away all the comics he used to court her, then tweets about it. After a bout of depression and some fights with her mom, Claire Danes makes some new friends and starts dating an undergraduate Creative Writing student who lives in a loft.
2) Claire Danes in a Taylor Swift song
Some dude puts unwanted sexual pressure on Claire Danes. She smacks him.
3) Claire Danes in Garden State
Andrew Largeman meets Claire Danes in the waiting room of a doctor’s office. He offers her a ride home but she declines because she doesn’t know him, though they still exchange numbers. When she and Andrew receive the trinket in the junkyard, Claire Danes asks “Do you wanna go like, regular antique shopping?” Andrew Largeman is deeply offended and cries. Claire Danes leaves him to play in a band.
